The NorDen Table
by Dattebayo Girl
Summary: On a trip to Ikea, Denmark comes across a "Norden" table. What follows is a conversation with Norway and something that Sweden will never be able to forget. -Rated for Mature Themes, lolololol-


Watch this get taken down, lol.

Craaaaack Story. I went to an Ikea yesterday. and saw a Norden table. and talked with my Denmark. then this was born.

Its M for a reason, dear. Don't report me for it XD

Hetalia isn't mine.

* * *

_"And 'v'r h'r' is a k'tch'n set..." The stony blond gestured to the left._

"Oh Doitsu this is a pretty red counter~!" Italy ran his hand along the red marble.

Spain and Romano talked (or in Romano's case, argued.) about the fridge and how many tomatoes it could fit.

America just wanted to go over to the food place to see if they had burgers. He also just would not shut up and kept on making "Gotland" jokes.

Prussia saw a shelf called "Ludvig" and just had a field day. "WEST. WEST, WE GOTTA GET A PICTURE OF YOU NEXT TO THIS ONE." Germany sighed, and Italy pulled him off to see the bedrooms.

Sweden had closed off this particular Ikea to the humans today to give the nations a personal tour, maybe to start working out some advertisement deals. He hoped they would be a little bit more well behaved, but no, they acted as they always did. It was alright as long as he ended up selling something off in the end.

The rest of the Nordics, although used to Ikea, followed along anyway, Finland helping Sweden move the tour along and Iceland chilling out in one of the couches with his bird, not really doing much at all. Norway didn't know why he was really here, but Denmark, while next to him, always acted a fool, pointing out everything he could like some hyperactive child.

"Hey... did we ever notice this before?" They trailed behind the main group of Countries, Denmark to a complete stop, standing in what seemed like a white and red themed kitchen.

"Notice what?" Norway, after a couple of extra steps, came to a stop, and trekked back to where Denmark was standing and pointing to a sign.

Denmark pointed at the sign with a huge grin that simply read "Norden Table." along with the other formalities like price and colors.

"This is fucking hilarious!"

It was mildly amusing at best, but Norway stared at the taller man with the varied emotions of a brick. "So..."

"So?" Denmark laughed. "Nor... Den. You, and me! Except it might be a little out of order."

"Out of order. What do you mean?"

"Usually when we go at it, I top. Naturally, of course."

"Right." He went to turn away, but found his arm gripped in a single black-gloved hand.

"Come on." Denmark's voice had dipped down in tone and volume. "No one's coming back this way. The tour is the same every time. This place will be empty until after lunch. We got a good two hours man..."

He kept himself from snorting. "You should learn to keep it in your pants." He pulled his arm away, but took hold of Denmark's collar and pulled him into a kiss.

-

"And Th's is..." Sweden paused. He knew Iceland opted out of the tour, but he did remember Denmark and Norway following along. Now he knew Norway was no one to worry about, but knowing that Denmark was out and about was liable to make him worry. "M' W'f' w'll c'ont'nue f'r m'" And stalked off without another word, leaving a bunch of semi-listening nations with a VERY flustered Finland.

He walked around, preferring to take the shortcuts to get back though the market quicker. Suddenly, he was within hearing range.

"I guess I should maybe bring some the next time huh?"

Silence; Then a slightly pained sound and the sound of a table moving along the floor.

"Damn it, c-careful."

Sweden moved along slowly to the shortcut that took him back into the kitchens, where the first sight that would be forever melded into his brain was the pale backside of a pant-less Norway. His shirt was ruffled, but intact and on him unlike his pants that were down, pooled around his ankles. Denmark's pants were tossed aside on the floor along with his trench coat. His legs could be seen, spread wider than Norway's, and his top half was bent over a table, his vitals hanging out just underneath the tabletop.

Sweden had just stumbled upon two of the Nordics having 's face remained straight, but slowly, the red rose to his cheeks. He backed away quietly; they hadn't looked like they heard him; and moved, but not away, or even closer to stop them.

No, he... he was slowly sure of himself that he wished for another angle. How horrible of him. He took the long way around after backing up from the shortcut,and peaked around a wall, into the kitchen where Norway has his eyes half closed in concentration like a man possessed.

Denmark grasped the sides of the table panting and flushed, but ever the cheerful one, his grin still in place. It was pretty apparent that just under the table, his, erm... flagpole stood completely erect, and arched his back a little as a possessive growl rolled off the tongue of one of the more 'Well mannered' Nordic.

It was super effective. The blush on the Swede's cheeks raced across his face within seconds, and his glasses, nearly forgotten, started to slide from his face as he continued to watch, wide eyed. He'd gotten a little more than 'uncomfortable' when Denmark, who had been relatively silent this entire time (probably so he wouldn't alert anyone to their actions) Gave a short breathless cry as he'd hit his top, creating a mess on the floor.

Norway shortly followed, his nails digging into the flesh at the waist for a few seconds before leaving 10 small red marks on either side of the Dane. After a good few moments here Norway half lingered, half-rested, He pulled himself loose and commented that they should probably clean up.

"You're right." Denmark stretched upwards for a moment, then, laughed. "A NorDen Table. It's hilarious." He moved a little awkwardly, but managed to hide it well enough as he began to get dressed. "And the best table ever~" He grinned like an idiot.

Norway could hardly keep himself from kicking the other.

Sweden finally ripped himself away from the scene as they began to clean up. His hands were covertly placed over the part of his Ikea apron made his arousal so painfully obvious. He politely caught up with the tour group, took Finland by the arm, and immediately began to march him towards the bathroom, telling the guest they could walk around freely until 'His W'f'' helped him with some merchandise.

Finland, as confused as the rest of the other nations, was dragged off.


End file.
